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LiveJournal for Tiffany Nicholson.

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Sunday, May 23rd, 2004

Time:8:40 am.
i've started a new journal and a new chapter in my life. I guess you can say i feel a little lonely, but this past month has been amazing, i have discovered a lot about myself. I was really bad to some people in the past, but i'm trying to make up for it and i'm trying to gain back their respect. i've lost a lot of respect. I now know however, not to just go out with anyone that picks you, but someone you have an initial feeling for as well. I can't say I've ever gotten over Joel, and i screwed that up so bad. I mean, beyond repair. I had a year and a half rebound because of it. How did i ever let it get that far. not to say he was a rebound the whole time, there was a time i felt like i would get married to him, but in all honesty we weren't very compatible and it was a bad situation. I don't know how long it will take for me to be able to go out with someone or even think of someone in that way. It'll be a while because i'm not about to start a relationship with anyone when i'm going to be moving to PA in the fall. For those of you that don't know, I've decided to pack up and go to Messiah in the fall, Its not exactly set in stone, but i am going to make it happen, with the help of God of course. If this new chapter wouldn't have opened in my life I wouldn't be doing this so its awesome. I would like to for once in my life depend on God and not.. well.. you know. I would like to start up a friendship with Joel again, I have no clue how thats going to happen, But i've honestly never felt anything like that for anyone other than him and i threw it all away based on imature insecurities so itd be nice to have at least his friendship back, If I felt like i was in any kind of condition for anything more than that, well.. I think you get the point. I've written enough, and writing won't change anything. Ive got to do something about it
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Sunday, May 2nd, 2004

Time:9:34 am.
i guess it doesn't work, so i'm going to have to find a certain way to either make my journal private or block certain people from looking at it.
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Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

Time:2:52 pm.
i don't know who is reading my journal but because of certain reasons i am going to make my journal a friends only journal, so if you are not on my friends list and you want to be you can email me at artjunkie84@alloymail.com. or reply to one of the following posts. after this post, every other post is now going to be a friends only.
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Time:8:01 am.
i have no clue who said i asked another guy out, but thats not true. The first thing is i don't ask guys out, the second thing, there isn't anyone i like right now, so even if someone asked me out i would say no. I wonder who said that. what a crock.
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Monday, April 26th, 2004

Time:7:44 pm.
life is going really good right now however really stressful with starting a new job and exam week right around the corner. I started my new job over the weekend which was kind of boring(the orientation part of it, but i got to meet some new people, which was nice. I went to see 13 going on 30 this weekend, it was so cute. I was kind of apprehensive about going because its a chick flick but i have to say i'm going to put it in my collection right next to when harry met sally. I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO, It feels as if i'm going to explode. I need to work on my art project thats do this thursday, seeing as how i'm trying to make it into an ambitious piece(*sp), i need to spend a lot of time on it. I think i will go do that now.
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Friday, April 23rd, 2004

Time:9:27 am.
I started my new job yesterday. it was really exciting, i'm still kinda nervous though. they have me scheduled a lot next week! So I better like it otherwise I'm stuck. Everyone was really nice and i was relieved to see that the department head of paint was a women. I don't work well under men. The only two times I ever got fired were under male managers.. and they were both food places. So.. I understand now, then i thought it was because i must be a bad worker or something but i now realize that that wasn't it, its just food and me don't mix. I am too maticulous with how i like my food so i was slow in making other peoples food because i was trying to make it perfect. now thats not soo bad, is it. anyways.. i hope my managers like me.
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Wednesday, April 21st, 2004

Time:11:31 pm.
My friend Andrea is so awesome, she does so much for everyone and expects nothing in return. She gave me a card today wishing me luck for my new job and my newfound "single-hood", she did more than wish me luck but uplifted my spirts. it was a small gesture of encouragement and yet i needed it so badly, I'm lucky to have friends like these. I only wish I can do the same for my friends when they need me.
i start my new job tomorrow, i'm nervous, also schools about out and i need to get my act together. My drawing class is the only one i know i don't need to worry about, then again its the only one i care about.
I think i may get together with some people from my botany class to study for the exam, i should probably do the same for my other science class. I stink at science.
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Sunday, April 18th, 2004

Time:12:06 am.
i hung out with ashley tonight. we went to starbucks and then to chipotle. We split tacos and then stole a basket of chips. well.. we bought the chips but they threw us out.. because they were closing and we ate on the patio. When it was time to leave, we weren't done with the chips so voila'
we took the basket with us.
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Saturday, April 17th, 2004

Time:8:53 am.
stacy came over last night to help me babysit. it was fun. she read from her book. i want to go get it. its so good. what to do until love finds you. the name sounds hokey but it really is a wise book. we went to the park and played basketball with my little brother and watched him make new friends instantly, why can't we go back to being kids when things were less complicated and getting to know people wasn't so hard.
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Friday, April 16th, 2004

Time:9:24 am.
i don't know what i want, and i don't know what to do.
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Wednesday, April 14th, 2004

Time:11:35 am.
we kinda talked through things. and we are going to remain with the deciscion to take some time off but were still together. everything is so confusing though. but i know its the best thing. time for one on one with the lord.
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Time:7:29 am.
my friend stacy said something that really sunk in. she said that sometimes when things happen that make no sense, God is pulling you out because of something getting ready to happen that you wouldn't have been able to endure. if i can say this, i think stacy is the woman they talk about in proverbs 31, i hope it rubs off on me. Her and trish are both so awesome.
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Time:7:23 am.
wow. its amazing how things foreshadow themselves
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Time:1:19 am.
well.. i didn't get my keys back like i was suppose to tonight. i don't know what i am to do with the cds and stuff now. all of that was suppose to be gone by tonight. However, i managed to get in my house.
i'm exausted. hangin with the girls is what i needed though. trish and stacy are so awesome. and everyone at oasis that i am close to are amazing. i am really glad i have friends that are there for me even when i drop off the face of the earth and then come back
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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004

Time:5:09 pm.
i'm going back to strat
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Time:8:23 am.
i have my answer. stepping away from our talk, i understand it so much better. we love each other, but in a comfortable sense. in a sense of family, friendship, but not in the way we use to. we can't change that. its mutual, but it doesn't make it any less sadder. i spent a year and a half of my life with you and i love you but its come to this and i now know that all good things of this earth do come to an end.
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Time:12:44 am.
my heart hurts so bad, and theres no one there. i'm alone
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Time:12:29 am.
Eerie whispers
trapped beneath my pillow
won't let me sleep
your memories

and I know you're in this room
I'm sure I heard you sigh
Floating in between
where our worlds collide

scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see
and it scares the hell out of me
and the end is all I can see

and I know the moment's near
and there's nothing you can do
look through a faithless eye
are you afraid to die?


this was the other song i heard. sorry for the language. this was by muse
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Time:12:07 am.
man... i'm reallly bumming right now. i wish i knew what to do
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Monday, April 12th, 2004

Time:11:50 pm.
i hope i can remember the words to these two songs i heard on 97x.
one was on the way to your house
"When I used to go out, I would know everyone that I saw
Now I go out alone if I go out at all"
this was by the walkmen, good song.
the other one i heard was as i was leaving.
well. i can't remember that one but it was a good one.

anyways. i'm suppose to be praying about things. so i guess i'll go do that
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LiveJournal for Tiffany Nicholson.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.